I LOVE THIS BLOG!!!

Have I mentioned how much I love this blog!! There are so many people out there in the Earth who didn't know what the hell I was up to before and now they do! Even my buddy Earl who lives in Nicholasville a whole town over. What's up Earl you piece of shit? You owe me 7 dollars. So today I cleaned up around the place and organized all my trading cards. I was thinking about selling them, but it's an investment and I gotta stick with it. I have a signed Ryne Sandberg card worth 83 bucks!! One days I'll be able to sell them all and buy a sick ass house far away from the MLK area and I'll invest all the money and live off the dividends and I'll have ALL the movie channels and the porno channels. Wanda will be jealous as fuck and she'll probably ride her bike by all the time and drool but I won't even pay any attention to her, because I'll be inside watching a Jenna Jameson movie on the big huge 100 inch screen. Oh and those damn raccoons are back. I'm going to try feeding them alka selzer. I heard it will blow up a bird, so let's see what it can do to a coon.

Them Mushrooms Put A Hurting On Me

Damn man, I feel like shit today. Those mushrooms put a hurting on me like the time I flipped over the handlebars on my bike and landed on that open tackle box. Fuck if Hank and I didn't have a kickass time though. We were tripping so hard and then Hank took a bite of a burrito that was sitting on the table and it had rice in it but I thought the rice was maggots and so then I thought Hank had turned into a zombie so I hit him in the face with a shovel. We laughed our asses off but he was bleeding pretty bad. Turns out those were maggots. That burrito had been sitting there for a while. I hope his dumb ass wakes up soon, because he's been layed out on my couch all day. Think I'll have eggs for dinner, but I gotta take a shit first.

Fucking Hollywood

FRIDAY NIGHT, BITCHES!!!! I am gonna GET FUCKED UP! Looked up them mushrooms on the online and it says they are NOT poisoness and I should be able to TRIP MOTHERFUCKING BALLS off them. Hank is coming over with some Miller Genuine Draft and we are gonna eat the shit out of these and ride around on his ATV. Any of you fine ass ladies out there in the interweb who want to join us are more than welcome to bring your fine asses over as long as you don't have any fat friends or guys with you! Send me an E-mail and I'll give you directions. Just got finished gutting the bass I caught today and I going to pan fry it with some macaroni and cheese and ketchup. That's right! Bet you ladies didn't know I could cook! That's not the only thing I can do for you. I don't understand this Two And A Half Men show that is on right now. Are these two a couple of fags raising a kid? That shit should NOT be allowed. Fucking Hollywood. I wish King Of Queens was on. I'm just going to go take a bath and get ready to FUCKING PARTY!!!!

nightcrawlers

I bought some nightcrawlers today to go fishing in the morning. Sometimes when I bait the line I like to imagine that I can hear them screaming and I imagine it's the person I hate most. Also, I found some mushrooms in the woods behind my shed today. I'm going to use the online search to see if I can trip off them. PARTY AT MY PLACE, HANK!!!! You bring the beers this time. You still haven't paid me back for the last time.

You can't hold me down!

I've been so depressed the past few days ever since that fat bitch broke into my blog. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID THAT!!! The worst part is I've been trying to get Terrence to get over here and fix this damn thing to keep her out of my business, but he's visiting his damn cousin in Beaumont and he won't be back for two weeks. I've been so upset that I haven;t even been keeping up with my training and now my muscles are probably shrinking, and that's just like Wanda to fuck with my head and keep me from bettering myself. She's been doing that shit for years. Like the time I wanted to buy those tapes on the television about learning how to use the foreign exchange market to make money, and she told me it was a scam and a waste of money but I probably could have been a billionare by now and hanging out with all sorts of big titty models in Italy and what not. But I'm not going to let her drag me down to her level. In fact, I'm going to buy those tapes and learn how to do the stock trading as soon as I finish working out today. I need to call Hank and see if he can spot me the funds to invest. AND I need to mow the lawn and work out my quads today. THERE'S JUST SO MUCH TO DO! I got no time to sit around and worry about you, Wanda. And that wasn't me that slashed the tires on Craig's truck yesterday if his tires got slashed. I heard they did. Sucks to be you, but I guess that's just the Lord's way of saying that you're a no good cock hungry whoresbag.

YOUR SO PATHETIC!!!!!!!!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE HELL FIRE I WILL BRING DOWN ON YOU, WANDA! HOW DARE YOU PULL THIS SHIT! THIS IS AN INVASION OF PRIVACY AND SECRETCY! IT'S AGAINST THE LAW TO ACCESS SOMEONE ELSE'S COMPUTER AND DON'T THINK I WON'T REPORT YOU! SO LET'S SET THE REAL RECORD STRIAGHT YOU FAT BITCH!

1. Terrence you are gonna catch such a beating next time I see you! How dare you give Wanda the passcodes for my blog!?! Your old enough to be a man and know who's side you should be on! Grow some pubes and stop being a little bitch and get over here and show me how to fix this!

2. If you really destroyed my Highlander tape then I am suing you for destruction of property and invasion of privacy and I will take you on Judge Joe Brown if I need to! And I will tell him about the time that you ruined my brand new Lazy Boy because you were on your period and you have a history of violence.

3. DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT PAM! She's more woman than you will ever be and she looks good naked. You're just jealous because you don't get this anymore and you know I'm the best you ever had. And Craig is a little faggot and I bet it's not his baby if you are pregnant because you have to have a dick to get a girl pregnant. But I don't even believe you are pregnant because you're probably just trying to make me jealous.

4. I like 24 too and you know that because I'm the one who started watching it with you! So don't even try and act like you are the real fan because you only know about it because of me! And if Jack Bower were a real person he would want to be friends with me because I shoot guns. He wouldn't want anything to do with you you fat bitch. YOU WOULD PROBABLY MAKE HIM THROW UP!

5. You know how to spell my name so stop spelling it wrong to try and make me jealous!

That's all I even have to say to you because you don't deserve my time! If you come onto my blog again I will call the cops! FUCK YOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

For all my friends out there, I had a great training today and my biceps are getting bigger already. I tied two 10 pound dumbells together so I can lift 20 pounds on each arm and I keep lifting until it burns. I watch the workout scene from Rocky 3 and I rewind it at least twice because my workout lasts longer than just one time threw.

PS

Craig and I are pregnant. Enjoy your "rash".

Chauncy You Dumb Twat

Maybe Terrence should teach you to change your user name and password.  Let's get some things straight, you stupid, son of a bitch. 

1. Pam agrees with everything you say cause you pay ''her'' to. You also pay "her" to suck "her" dick.

2. I ain't callin you. 

3. 24 is the best show ever made. 

I hope you forget to wear a helmet and a baseball is pitched to your head. You can have your Highlander VHS. It's scattered along I-75. 

red spots

I think my workout bench gave me a rash on my legs. Either that or it was my riding mower.

I burned my leg

Dammit. I'm all out of paper towels so I couldn't filter my coffee this morning. Then some bacon grease flew out of the pan and burned my inner thigh. I need to switch to boxer shorts. Today is off to a fucking awful start. How the hell am I supposed to get to training without my morning java. I think Hank is coming by later and we're going to work on our start up company. For those of you who don't know Hank and I are going to business selling guns on the internet. You can buy used parts real cheap and then we put them together ourselves and sell them at an auction but on the computer. Hank said he's going to take care of all the business end things. He just needs to use my computer for the buying and selling and we split the money. It'll go into his account and he'll cut me a check. Obviously we can keep some for ourselves and that'll be sick because we can bring some bitches back here and get drunk and shoot guns back in the woods. YOU AINT INVITED, WANDA!

I dream of Jenna

Today is going to be a great day. I found one of my Jenna Jameson DVDs earlier. Her titties are so big and I don't really care if there real or not. I would squeeze them like two big water balloons, but not so they burst. I just like the squishy feeling in my hand. Anyway, I know you're not supposed to jerk it when you're training, but I couldn't help myself. But I had a grilled cheese and I'm feeling good, so I'm gonna go bench press for a while. Cranking up the AC/DC! Hells Bells motherfuckers!!!!!

quit calling me!

I haven't been able to post a blog the passed few days because everytime I'm trying somebody calls me and kicks me off the online. I know it's you Wanda, goddamnit! Why don't you get a life and find something better to do then always calling me and hanging up when I pick up! If you're so happy now then why don't you move on? I have! I'm not even going to waste my time explaining to you how pathetic you are, because you already know and you have to live with that. Even your cousin Barry knows that you act so immature sometimes and he has partial down syndrome. Anyway, for those of you who aren't a fat old bitch I want you to know that I'm going to start training for basbeall again and I'm going to keep ya'll updated on my training. Tomorrow I'm going to start with a run and then pump my pecks. I dusted off the old bench press in the car port, so look out ladies. Gotta go, King of Queens is back from commercial.

gone camping

I know you were probably wondering where I was this weekend. I went off "the grid" and went camping at the Cummins Ferry Campground. I had to get away from it all before I went postal on some bitches. I'm so sick and fed up with some people and you know who you are. The camping is always what gets my mind back on what's really important. Fishing and canoeing and grilling and camping are the finest things in life. At night I built a fire and was watching it burn for hours and had a real epifany. Fire was like the caveman's TV. They didn't have CSI back then but the cavemen must have thought that damn fire was the best show they ever seen. Obviously CSI is better than the fire though. Even though I would, I couldn't stay out there forever though so I had to come back home. Unfortunately the raccoons had got into the garbage cans again. I swear I tried everything, but it seems like the more i kill the more they keep coming back. It's good to be home. I'm going to order a pizza and make hot dog soup for supper.

I wanna watch CSI!

I know I bought a jumbo pack of double A batteries a few months ago at the Wal-Mart and put them in the drawer in the kitchen. Where the hell are they?! If you took those batteries I swear to God I'm going to burn down the flower bed in front of your trailer! I have to get up off the damn couch everytime I need to change the channel, and you know I don't like to watch these damn commercials! Terrence, if you're reading this you damn well better not have taken those batteries for your remote controled car or I'm gonna bust your ass, boy. Someone put some goddamn batteries in my goddamn remote control NOW!

ps: CSI is the best damn show on television.

answer your damn phone!

How do I get this grass stain out of my Randy Johnson t-shirt!? God I hate you you stupid bitch!!!!

I only think of you when I shit.

Today I went down to the Qdoba Mexican Grill for some fajitas. Mexicans sure know how to grill up some tasty shit. Shit is also what mexican food makes me do, take a shit. And that's what you are Wanda. A piece of shit! Remember the time we were fishing down at the retention pond and you fell in so I gave you my t-shirt to wear so you wouldn't be cold and I told you I loved you. I was wrong! I was talking to Pam and she said she always knew you were bad and she told me all along. I should have listened to her becuase she was right. You never appreciated anything I done for you and I always was going out of my way. I hope one day you realize what a big mistake you made and you come crawling back but I won't take you back in a million years. Think again! I'm moved on! Just wanted you to know.

PS:

I still want my VHS copy of Highlander back!

My bitch ass ex-wife.

Hello,

My name is Chauncey Bottoms. I live in Lexington, KY the best fucking city on Earth. My nephew Terrence showed me how to use the online. Guess all this time he was fagging around on the computer instead of playing baseball he learned something useful. He set up this blogging for me and now I can let all the people of the whole world know what a royal bitch my ex-wife is. I hate you, Wanda. You ruined the best years of my life. I should have been out banging all the hot women that want to bang me. Not living with you. I'm so glad we got divorced. You smell like piss warm bacon grease. If I could go back in time I would punch Craig in the throat and kill him before you could cheat on me with him and then I would go further back in time and never marry you! Hope you're happy now. NOT! Your even uglier than all my friends say you are! I hope you choke on your spit while your sleeping and die.

Peace.