Feel Bad About Being A Dick To Frank

I haven't felt like talking to anybody all week. I wanted to punch everyone I know in the nuts. I feel better now I guess but there are still a few people I wouldn't mind punching in their nutsack until it ripped open and their nuts fell out. I feel a little bad about how I treated Frank yesterday though. Frank is my mail man and usually when he comes around at 3pm everyday we talk about what's going on and NASCAR and shit, but yesterday he was trying to talk to me about some bullshit with his mom and I was like shut the fuck up and give me my Penthouse and get the fuck out of here. I don't know she's got Altshymers Disease or something. I'm so broke and all I want to do is go out and get ripped! I hope Conan The Destroyer is on TV this weekend.

Some Things I'm Thinking.

I've been thinking about a couple things:
1.) If your underwear covers your balls and dick so they don't get dirty, then why do you have to change your underwear everyday because it shouldn't be getting dirty right?
2.) If cheese makes me constipated and apple juice gives me diarrea than if I eat them both at the same time than I should be fine right?
3.) What is pepperoni made of?
4.) Why does my jizz smell like clorine?
5.) Does a woman's pussy shrink back down after she has a kid? I've never fucked a woman who has kids. Actually I have but I'm not sure if it was just her pussy or if there all like that.
6.) If Coke can clean a penny than I should be able to clean other stuff around my house with it as long as I rinse it off with water after right?

I AM NOT GAY!!!

I just want to make it clear to all them homo prancers on the online trying to pick up little boys and girls that I AM NOT GAY!! And if you ever send me an e-mail I will find you and punch the shit out of you. There's this one dude who keeps talking to me on my blog named Organic Meatballs and he seems pretty cool, but I'm kinda afraid that he might be a queer in disguise trying to be my friend and then he's going to ask me to come over and hang out and I'll think that we're just going to have some beers or something but then he'll try and put his dick in my mouth. Well that aint gonna happen bro!! So just in case you are a flamer I just want to be clear that you should stop writing me e-mails right now, but if you are just a normal dude then we could definitley hang out sometime and drink some Bud and shoot rifles and what not. Anyway, there's a sick Steven Segall movie on TV right now so I'm gonna watch that. I'm not sure which one it is, but he just kicked the shit out of some chinese guys. I think he's in Vietnam or something. Oh and how do you get candle wax out of your bed sheets? I washed them and it just got stuck in more.