MASTER! MASTER!

Feeding alka selzer to raccoons is not a good way to get them to explode because I can't even get them to eat it. I thought of a better plan today though so I'm going to get some cheeseburgers and tie them to the porch and then hide with a shovel, but I'm going to try and bash the coons before they get to the cheeseburgers so I can still eat them. I'm listening to Master of Puppets right now and remembering why it is the GREATEST FUCKING ALBUM EVER MADE!!!!! HETFIELD IS GOD!!!